Currently Listening Paris By Paris Hilton see related

What if..

What if I die today and never get to feel being a real, serious, founded on love and trust and all those other beautiful things relationship...

Oh God, please don't let that happen...

Morbid thoughts triggered by the post made by my friend Jen in our Yahoo! Group. And although I have posted on my response that being single isn't all that bad, it is still bad. In a way.

I'm taking relationships test at Tickle.com right now. Its as if I'm walking on a very thin "chicken" wire (OMG!) and I'm really close to falling off into nothingness... I don't know why I let people's words and ideas do this to me. I was happy a moment ago, sure of what I want, determined to get what I need and ready to face ANYTHING. And yeah, even if a part of me is still all that, part of me is once again confused and unsure of everything else.

I'M ALREADY 18 AND I'VE NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND!!!

It's so embarassing, so sad, so ANNOYING to even read that out loud (which I didn't do, being in the library and all)... sigh...

This isn't what I planned to write, mind you.

What I wanted to write about was:

1. The Tigers won over the Eagles for the championship. Take that you bird!!! UST TIGERS are the TRUE CHAMPIONS. Another proof that the race is not only for the fast nor to the strong!
2. I've FINALLY finished doing my FS 1 requirements and only have the EJ article on my back.
3. I still don't know how mom will be able to pay the 10T + tuition for me to be able to have my Finals exams...
4. Tin and I going to the Victory Concert/ Party later... *actually we're just going to get the free food then we're off... hehehe

Well, that's about it. After a week of not writing, I suddenly feel out of it. Off to answer the Colors of Love Test.

Later.

Currently Listening Chasing Cars By Snow Patrol Chasing Cars see related

Beautiful Song

One task done, 20 Million on the way

Whenever I get to be pressured, I tend to be more strict with myself. I wasn't supposed to blog today, but since I had finished typing and had already sent the Interview Summary and Personal Insights for FS1 for my mom to print, I guess its okay if I rave about it here.

Anyways, we saw Prof. Fernandez today and I didn't talk to her. I don't think I have to. I'm not truly sorry... I don't know if that makes me a bad person if I don't say sorry when I don't really mean it. I mean, if I do apologize without being sincere, doesn't that make me more of a bad person?

*shrugs

Anyhow, she came, she explained, she went. She did talked to the officers, although I don't know what about. Oh well. If it was something I have to know, I'm sure Rochelle, who is the class PRO, will tell me all about it.

BTW, am in the library again. Rochelle and Tin will be here later although am not sure if we'd still see each other. I texted mom and told her I'd be off home once I finished the email. I'd have to finish the term paper today so I can type it to her tomorrow. Bad trip nga lang, I have to go to Psych class on Friday to take the quiz. Ah basta, whatever happens I have to attend the joBFair.

That reminds me I have to type my resume pa pala. Well, later.

Currently Watching 10 Things I Hate About You By Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Kyle Cease, Cameron Fraser, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tarance Houston, Greg Jackson (II), Allison Janney, Andrew Keegan, Demegio Kimbrough, David Krumholtz, David Leisure, Quinn Maixner, Larry Miller, Daryl Mitchell, Larisa Oleynik, Susan May Pratt, Eric Riedmann, Gabrielle Union see related

Traumatized

 ... by a stupid, uberhyper dog!

And now, I can't go home via my short cut because of fear that that particular dog, or any other canine for that matter, might get it in his head to bite me. I swear, just hearing a dog's bark when I'm alone and about to go to school or home (especially when it's already dark), I get so scared I want to run and call for help, which is stupid considering the fact that I did grew up with dogs and other animals, only for the most part of my late adolescent years did we have to lose having another being rely on us. I might have to face my fears, especially now that its already 4 PM and I'm still at school, waiting for Rochelle so we can go to LRT together. *sigh

At least I've done my 'research' for my term paper in FS 1, which is still 20 % done. The remaining 70 % will have to be finished before Monday, because Prof. Fernandez had relented and extended the submission. Only now, we (the class) have to face her tomorrow morning. (Sheesh! I get be late or grand entrance once again!) We also have to pass the Interview results and insights this Friday, which is annoying because I gave the papers to Via yesterday since she had already finished her term paper. I had to give it to her even if I'm the group leader since I still have to work on my own term paper and it seemed wise since she'd been all doing the job when it is given and being a fast - worker. Earlier I told her she'd have to give the summary tomorrow, so the group can have our own copies and make our individual insights and pass it on Friday. Only I'd have to have it done by Thursday because I'd be absent on Friday. There's a job fair in Marikina that I have to attend so I can save up this sem break. Long story short, she didn't do what was tasked on her and so now not only do I have to cram for the term paper and my EJ article, the interview is added in the list. As if it wasn't enough.

Welcome to the life of a professional crammer!

Anyhow, I'd have to accomplish all those tasks mentioned so I would be free as a bird next week, which is officially Finals review week. No TV for five days, no blogging, just studying, studying, studying, for this is the 'culminating event' of all the hard work and extra credits (ie. nonstop recitations) I did all semester. Hopefully it will pay off with having my name written on the Dean's List. It's been so long since I saw my name written as an academic achiever... *reminiscing of high school days where the people around me where genuises...

Back to reality, last night, there was mail for mom from Papa. It was soaked under the rain, hence all the letters were deleted. It was just a copy of the house rules he made, which he also send to mom's email and mom printed out. We have to see it everyday whenever we open the refridgerator. My grandfather, lets just say, is not my favorite person in the world, but we have to obey him since the house we're living in now is his.

Before I go on talking about the endless Maala-ala mo kaya story of my life, I'd stop myself and end my post here. For now.

ps. Ang sarap ng Yumpanada! Can't wait to get to the station so I can buy. Miss ko na ang hopia!!!

pps. I think the guy beside me is looking at porn sites. Tsk - tsk.

ppps. Rumor has it that if the Tigers win game 2 this Thursday, classes might be suspended Monday, which may seem stupid but that's Philippine basketball! And I love it. (Not because I'd get to sleep in if classes are suspended, but because I truly love the sport... although catching some more Zzzs isn't such a bad idea either... hehehe)

GO USTe! Beat Ateneo!!! (my current cellphone screensaver courtesy of Angelica)

Proud to be a Thomasian!!!

Kat's Poem

(From the movie "10 Things I Hate about You")

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair. I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare. I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. I hate it, I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it that you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

On being truly happy

What to do to be TRULY happy?

I'm trying to get a poem on how to be happy and frankly, even the Internet, with its vast resources, can't provide me with one that doesn't sound either patronizing, mediocre or common. Which is why I am asking the very beautiful people who read my blog to answer the question above. Just post on my tag-board, okey?

Meanwhile, I am once again in the library, wasting my precious minutes, which I could use to make my introduction in my FS 1term paper. I sound so redudant already that I'll just skip the part wherein I justify my being so lazy.

Today has been a low day, for the most part. It is because I feel so bad that I have to ask for Mimi and my other friends to pay for my ticket so we can watch the game this Sunday. Oh, btw! Gef and I didn't go to Araneta yesterday because the others who were supposed to come to changed their minds. I had to go home so I can watch it on TV. It was a bummer, but at least we won. I experimented earlier on how different it would be when I discuss the game with my female classmates and with my male friends (from the other section). True enough, the girls were all about how good looking the player was; whereas the guys understood the terminologies and knew the names of the players. I preferred the latter, because even though I am not in any way athletic, I love basketball. And sports in general, for that matter.

*Go USTe! Go USTe! Go! Go! Go! Go! repeat 5x*

Going back on the main topic, I think we won't be able to watch anymore because I think everyone in Ateneo (the rival team) has already bought all the tickets. It's partly a bad thing, but mostly a good thing because for one, I don't have any money to use or to pay to my friends if they lend me money and for another, I have to finish my term paper and my article in EJ this week, because the week after will be review week for the finals week, which officially starts on October 9.

*I'll be on blog leave then up to Friday. Study, study, study.*

But the day got better once I ate my lunch and mom send me my load.

* I think the real reason I wasn't in the mood today is because I skipped breakfast and I had to stand all the way from Katipunan station to Legarda standing, my EJ bag super heavy and the journal I should be reading after this post bringing me down. *

Well, am off for now. I'd be here tomorrow again (maybe) for the NSTP - LTS finals, which I have not yet reviewed on and don't plan to do so, since the topics are all being taught to us in our Prof. Ed. courses.